Ruminations in Korea

Korean Near Death Experience
Last night I was hanging out at my usual restaurant on Texas Street, sitting in my usual spot at the usual outdoor table, eating one of my usual meals…fried sausage, salad, and water. My bike was parked in its usual location about 5 meters behind me.
I was sitting there minding my own business, doing my own thing when something very unusual happened. For some reason my spider sense activated and I just happened to glance over at my bike. I am used to people stopping and staring at my bike. So, I initially didn’t think too much about the 40-something guy standing behind my bike and staring at it. I understand. My bike is very nice. I like to stare at it too.

Then I noticed that the guy had put a black plastic bag full of something on my rear fender, not the seat, but actually on the fender…on my paint. Fully intending to give the guy, who was about a foot shorter than me and maybe half my weight, a very serious tongue lashing about being so incredibly stupid as to touch my bike, I turned my body to stand up and walk over to him.

I was mometarily stunned by what I saw next. It suddenly registered in my mind that this druken, obviously suicidal, idiot had undone his belt, unzipped his pants, and was in the process of preparing to urinate on the rear tire of my Harley-Davidson like a common feral dog.

After my initial shock and horror, I lept up from my chair, charged the few steps to my bike, grabbed the moron by his shoulders and shoved him halfway across the narrow street before he could egest his amber fluid onto my bike. His body was followed across the street very quickly by the bag of what turned out to be some sort of weedy-looking green vegetable that I snatched off the back of my bike and hurled at him.

His drunkenness mitigated the situation and probably saved him from grievous bodily harm. Had he been sober and coherent, it would likley have gone much worse for him.

After standing motionless in the middle of the street and holding up traffic for a few minutes, he eventually set his body in motion and staggered over toward me again and demanded that I compensate him for the weeds I chucked at him. I told him that he was lucky to be alive and had best leave before he really got hurt. He stopped bothering me and started bothering other people,including the waitresses. The burly Norwegian owner of the restaurant came out, smacked him around a few times and shoved him off down the road.

Unfortunately, I don’t think any lessons were learned by the drunken Korean man, as I am sure that he was too drunk to remember his near death experience.

Other Biker Bits

The wash/rain phenomenon of cars is also applicable to motorcycle apparently. Ever since early this past Spring, every time I have washed my bike, it has rained within two days.

On a related note, I sometimes get asked what my favorite/best/most useful piece of biker paraphernalia is. My answer used to vary according to my mood or whim of the day. However, ever since I bought this particular item earlier this Spring, my answer has always been the same…my rain gear.

When I was younger, in my late teens and early 20s, I used to love riding my bike in the rain and getting absolutely soaked. Nothing was more fun that that. I once made a good friend while riding in a downpour. I was roaring up I-15 from Salt Lake City to Logan, Utah after an afternoon of fun, when suddenly the skies opened and it started raining so hard that visibility dropped to a few hundred feet. It was awesome riding in that rain storm. It stopped being awesome the moment the cherry-sized hail started. Being on a bike in a big hail storm is never fun.

Maybe it’s a sign of aging, but while riding in the rain is still enjoyable, getting wet while riding isn’t fun anymore. I had to make a run to Taegu on particuarly day this past April for a scheduled 6-hour maintenance checkup on my bike. I had no rain gear at the time, just my trusty leather jacket, jeans, boots, gloves and helmet. That was all I had ever needed before.

I was soaked before I left my parking lot. It poured rain the entire three hour ride to the Harley shop in Taegu. It stopped raining within minutes of my arrival at the shop. I sat, totally wet for six hours while they checked my bike and pronounced he healthy. It began raining literally the minute I paid my bill and began putting my helmet on. I slid on my wet boots, and my wet jacket and rode three hours back to Pusan in the pouring rain.

Somewhere along the way, I decided that I was really sick and tired of being wet, and that rain gear was going to be ordered the minute I got home. And so it was.

Tonight, as I rode around town in the rain after work doing a few errands I had time to reflect again on how enjoyable it is to ride in the rain, and how much more enjoyable it is to ride in the rain and be dry. I reveled in the feeling of arriving home, taking off my helmet, taking off my gloves, taking off my rain coat, taking off my rain pants, taking off my rain boots and being warm and totally, stone dry.