One Hells Angel Of A Bad Idea!
You do not have to be the sharpest knife in the drawer to know that somethings are inherently NOT a good idea.
For example, it can pretty much be assumed that being the “Motorist” in the AP News headine “Motorist Opens Fire On Hells Angels” would not be a good thing.
First things first… Let’s just get this out of the way right now: If you see anything that looks remotely like this (particularly with three patches on the back of the vest/jacket), do not approach it, do not talk to it, do not look at it, walk away from it, and if you think you really must “get a piece of that because he ain’t so tough” then please re-think or make sure you have adequate insurance coverage:

If you see anything like this, DO NOT TOUCH, do not approach, do not photograph, and NEVER EVER do anything that even remotely looks like taking a picture of or looking at a license plate number:

With that out of the way, let’s look at another thing you should not do. You should not shoot, or in any other way anger a Hells Angel.
Associated Press Writer, Matt Apuzzo, writes from West Haven, Conn.:
A motorist opened fire on a group of Hell’s Angels motorcyclists along Interstate 95, killing one and injuring another, police said.
Police were considering a number of possible motives including road rage, and authorities across the Northeast were alerted to look for a green GMC sport-utility vehicle with Florida plates, Vance said. He said police believe four men were in the vehicle.
Road rage? A group of guys thought they would vent road rage on a group of Hells Angels??? That is just about one of the stupidest things I can even conceive of doing. My main thought after reading this article was that Mr. Motorist and his buddies had better pray to everything they hold holy that the police catch them before the Angels do. If not, he will learn the true meaning of “road rage”.
Without exception, Motorcycle Club members are tough, and the Hells Angels are the toughest of the tough. VERY few OTHER tough Motorcycle Clubs want to tangle in any way at all with the Angels. Mr. Motorist apparently does not realized how tough these guys are.
Reading about a shot motorcycle rider, I had visions of a horrifying wreck as the biker was ripped open by the bullet and lost control of his mount. This was not the case:
One of the bikers, Roger Mariani, 61, of Stratford, pulled over before realizing he had been shot in the upper torso, Vance said. He later died at the Yale-New Haven Hospital.
A 61 year old dude was FATALLY SHOT IN THE CHEST and it didn’t phase him. He pulled his bike over BEFORE he realized he had been shot in the chest. That is tough.
Another thing Mr. Motorist may not know is that in addition to being Terminator tough, Motorcycle Club members are fiercely loyal and protective of each other. They are called a “brotherhood” to express the closeness of the relationship. But it can often be something much more, in that there may be things you would do for your club brother that you wouldn’t do for your real brother.
In essense, when you do something to set off a Terminator biker, nothing as radical as shooting him… but often as seemingly small and insignificant as opening your mouth again after you were told to shut it and leave…, you don’t just annoy the Terminator. You annoy the Terminator and eight or nine other Terminators standing near him or just a phone call away You do not want to do this. It will end unpleasantly, one way or another.
The Hells Angels and other Motorcycle Clubs want nothing more than to be left alone. For the general public, the simple fact is that if you leave bikers alone, they will leave you alone, but if you really feel that you have to start something with a biker, you had best be prepared to finish it…completely. Most people who start arguments or fights are not prepared to follow them through to the end where only one walks away. Hells Angels and other Motorcycle Clubs are not “most people.”
As the police chief in Steamboat Springs, Colorado said of the Angels back in 1996:
“If you put yourself in a confrontational situation they will finish whatever you start. … There were incidents in the bars where the cowboys came in and wanted to see how tough these bikers are,and you can imagine how that turned out. … Generally, it turned out with a bloody cowboy.”
These are genuinely tough dudes.
Basically when dealing with Hells Angels, members of other Motorcycle Clubs, or pretty much anyone else with a Harley, leather, and long and/or facial hair, you should follow the warning in the Saturday Night Live “Happy Fun Ball” commercial…replacing “Happy Fun Ball” with “Biker”
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
- itching
- vertigo
- dizziness
- tingling in extremities
- loss of balance or coordination
- slurred speech
- temporary blindness
- profuse sweating
- or heart palpitations.
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.