Billion Dollar Babies
Billion dollar baby
I got you in a dimestore
No other little girl could ever
Hold you any tighter, any tighter than me baby
Billion dollar baby
Reckless like a gambler, million dollar maybe
Fighting like a dog whose been infected by the rabies.
That’s a billion dollars. What would you give for a single billion dollar bill? Would you part with five or ten thousand dollars for one? Maybe a little more? Well, you wouldn’t be alone. According to the Smoking Gun:
MARCH 15–We’re not sure what he planned to do with them, but an admitted smuggler recently led Secret Service agents to 250 counterfeit $1 billion notes that had been stained to make it appear they were issued in 1934. The phony bills were seized last week by federal investigators who learned of the bad paper from Tekle Zigetta, who pleaded guilty yesterday to a federal charge of failing to declare $37,000 in currency upon his return to Los Angeles in January from South Korea. Zigetta, 45, has not been charged with a crime in connection with the $1 billion notes, photos of which you can find on the following pages. The counterfeit bills are based on actual $1000 notes that carried a portrait of former President Grover Cleveland and the signatures of Treasury secretary Henry Morgenthau and U.S. Treasurer W.A. Julian. Though it is hard to believe that someone might believe the bills to be real, investigators contend that the phony notes could be used as part of an elaborate swindle by a con artist.
I don’t know if this type of scam is popular elsewhere, but I hear about it quite often here in Korea. Basically, how this scam works is that somebody claims to have found/discovered/inherited old civil war bonds, certificates, or bank notes. Then they say they need the money quickly so they don’t have time to go through the legal proceedures necessary to cash out whatever it is they are selling. So, in their desparate grab for cash, they are willing to part with the incredibly valuable instruments for an amazingly low sum of money, such as USD 10,000 or USD 20,000. The victim gives up the cash, gets the worthless paper, and then gets burned when they try to collect. More sophisticated scammers will offer to be the local person with power of attorney to handle the legal steps in America for a small fee. Thus, not only do the victims pay huge amounts of money for worthless paper, they then get lured into paying thousands and thousands more for non-existant legal fees, court costs, and assistance fees.
I really don’t know what makes people fall vicitim to these scams, Nigerian 419 scams, and other similar scams. In some small way, maybe I could understand it if the victims were all completely stupid, brain-frozen, idiotic prats. However, there are incredibly inteligent, wise, and professional people that fall vicitim to these scams. Are there really people out there that are so focused on getting something for nothing…particularly money…that their lust for money completely blinds them to even the most basic forms of common sense?
I generally have very little pity for victims of such folly. How much effort does it take to find out that there is no such thing as a ONE BILLION DOLLAR BILL?? MAYBE 30 seconds to do an internet search. MAYBE 5 minutes to CALL A BANK AND ASK!
My first direct exposure to otherwise rational, mature, professional people being caught up in these things was when a wise, old, highly respected dentist came to my office seeking advise on how to safely wire money to Nigeria to pay for some old bonds valued at about USD 50,000,000 drawn on some US bank. If I remember correctly, he was going to pay about USD 35,000 for them. At least he is one of the few that have come seeking advice BEFORE they get caught up in it, rather than after they have thrown a pile of money into the scammers pocket.
The dentist simply didn’t want to believe that it could be a scam. When I asked how somone in Lagos, Nigeria would know about Dr. X in his little dental clinic in Pusan, Korea, he replied, “I treated a black man from Africa once about 10 years ago, and I am sure that he must have given my name to this man.”
I told him there are probably thousands of other people who got the same correspondance and you are one of the people that responded. “But,” he protested, “I have this letter from his lawyer. It must be legitimate because this letter came from his lawyer.” I pointed out that according to the letterhead, EVERYONE in the “law firm” had Ph.D. degrees…including the secretary! I suggest that such things should raise a few caution flag in his mind.
He was undeterred in his quest for money. He insisted we write a letter asking for banking details. I suggested we give the “law firm” a call and demand proof that they actually are lawyers. So, we dialed up Nigeria. I asked for the Senior Partner. He was conveniently out of the office. I asked for the person that signed the letter. He was conveniently gone. I asked to speak to ANY lawyer at all. I eventually spoke to one guy who claimed to be a lawyer. I said we would be happy to send the money as soon as they sent copies of their law degrees, law licenses, and any other document proving they were lawyers. They said they would send a fax soon.
Two days went by with no fax. I told Dr. X that the fact the lawyers can’t prove they are lawyers is a sure sign it’s a scam. He said that he was going to book a flight to Lagos to hand-deliver the cash to the seller because he couldn’t trust the seller’s lawyer. I then called the US Consul here in Pusan, who informed Dr. X that if he got on that plane, he would likely never leave Lagos alive. Finally the dentist came around and realized that he had been taken in by a scam.
The fact that the guy in the story was arrested in the US for failing to declare USD 37,000 tells me that at least one person in Korea has lost a lot of money. A BILLION DOLLAR BILL??? Ugh.