Lounging Lizard

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 12:21 pm on Saturday, September 25, 2004

I hate pet blogs in all their various forms…except for Big Ho’s brief centipede-related posts..including centipede porn. However, I hate feeling left out of something. That is the reason why I spent the last week reading the Da Vinci Code. It was becoming impossible to have a conversation with people without having read the book.

Anyway…Unlike the poor, sad saps that give daily updates of their cat playing with string, chasing a ball, falling off the tv, drinking toilet water, or whatever, I can do my pet blog in a single sitting. That’s the beauty of having a bad, mo-fo pet that doesn’t need to be cute and prissy and doesn’t need to do things like…well…move.

So… Here is my one, and most likely only, pet blog ever:

PORKY THE LOUNGING LIZARD

Hi. I’m Porky, the Australian Bearded Dragon. I was disgustingly expensive, so I had better live a damn long life. Here is my average 24-hour day:

23 hours and 59 minutes: This is what I do:

5 seconds: Oh look….Here comes my box of food. I should go over and wait.

3 seconds: Welcome to my nightmare!

Get ready for the lady
She’s gonna be a treat
Simmer slightly ’til ready
Make her soft too
Make her sweet

I kiss the tears off from your chest
I felt the poison fright that’s in your breath
I knew your precious life and I know your death
I squeeze the love out of your soul
All the perfect love that’s in your soul
You’re just another spirit on parole

Devil’s food

10 seconds: I am the bringer of death!

5 seconds: No one is safe!!

37 seconds: Pose and exude dominance. “I’m ready for my close up, Mr. Burt I. Gordon”

There…that’s out of the way. Don’t ever have to do that again.

Time is an illusion. Lunch time doubly so!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 2:26 pm on Friday, September 24, 2004

At luchtime today, I decided to talk a walk up to Yongdusan Park (Dragon’s Head Park) near my office.

I thought I would take a short cut up a small alley and through one row of tall bushes. In my folly, I was almost hit sqare in face by THIS:

That is a 4 inch (10cm), 8-legged freak. I HATE spiders. THAT was just the one that I almost hit. There were five others in a big group. I decided to go around.

Eventually, I reached the stairs…Zepplin was playing “Stairway to Heaven” on my MP3 player at the exact moment I took this picture:

During the opening ceremony for the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, 2,400 pigeons were released. Result? Pigeon problem in 2004. (Play Freebird, dude!)

A bit of trivia: Up to 1988, the pigeons were released before the cauldron was lit. However, at the ‘88 Olympics a large number of pigeons landed in the cauldron and were hanging out on the rim and inside the cauldron when it was lit. They roosting pigeons became roasting pigeons and they met their fiery demise. Now, the birds are released after the cauldron is lit.

Predictably, there is a statue of a dragon in Dragon’s Head Park. (Do any other lawyers reading this have problems typing the word “statue”?)

Looking up at the statue, I had a flashback to highschool…..it went something like this:

Me: Dang…I rolled a 12…at plus 3 that gives me a 15.

DM: You miss, but it was close. The dragon turns to you…20…The ancient black, acid-breathing dragon sprays you directly in the face for double damage of 88hp…You fall to the floor, screaming in horror as your flesh begins to melt and your armor begins burning and dripping onto your exposed flesh.

Me: CLERIC!!!!! HELP!!!!

I was a loser.

While on my way back to the office, I noticed a miniature version of Mt. Baekdu in a stone fountain.

On a side note:

Speaking of comparisons…Last night a guy, who looked a lot like Will Smith, sat down next to me at a cafe where I was having dinner and said, “Yo, man! You know who you look like? Yeah, you do. You probably hear it all the time.”

I replied that I had no idea because I had a goatee for about nine years and only shaved about 2 1/2 months ago.

“Man,” he said with a chuckle, “You look just like Drew Carrey!”

…….???

Hats?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 5:32 pm on Thursday, September 23, 2004

Urgent question:

Anyone know if there is a place in Seoul that sells REAL, good-quality cowboy hats? If so, where is it?

Heightened Risk of Demonstrations and Terrorist Attacks Against US Citizens in Korea

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 5:30 pm on Thursday, September 23, 2004

The following is a dispatch recieved from the US Embassy in Seoul:

The U.S. Embassy is transmitting the following information through the Embassy’s warden system as a public service to all U.S. citizens in the Republic of Korea. Please disseminate this message to U.S. citizens in your organizations.

The recent public announcement regarding the dispatch of Korean troops to Iraq raises the potential for demonstrations and violent actions against U.S. government facilities and personnel in Korea. Moreover, the U.S. Embassy remains concerned by indications that al-Qaeda and other terror groups continue to prepare to strike U.S. interests both domestically and overseas. Terrorist actions may include suicide operations, hijackings, bombings or kidnappings. These may involve aviation and other transportation and maritime interests, and may include conventional weapons, such as explosive devices. Terrorists do not distinguish between official and civilian targets. These may include facilities where U.S. citizens and other foreigners congregate or visit, including residential areas, clubs, restaurants, places of worship, schools, hotels, and public areas.

Consequently, Korean police authorities have increased the number of security personnel protecting U.S. government facilities. Additionally, U.S. Forces Korea (USFK) command elements have implemented a series of enhanced security measures at USFK bases to include increased police patrols, random car stops and more robust screening of visitors to the base.

American citizens and their family members are strongly encouraged to maintain a high-level of personal security awareness, especially in areas where large numbers of American citizens congregate. Tourist and shopping areas in the vicinity of USFK bases are considered especially vulnerable to terrorist attacks and American citizens should avoid these places as much as possible. Please report any suspicious incidents or surveillance immediately to the Embassy (tel: 02-397-4000 (24 hours); fax: 02-397-4101; or e-mail: seoul_acs@state.gov). Thank you for your attention and cooperation in this important matter.

The Embassy encourages all American citizens to read and follow the suggestions in the world wide public announcement issued by the Department of State on September 10, 2004. See http://www.asktheconsul.org/2004sep10.htm or http://travel.state.gov/.

The U.S. Embassy in Seoul will continue to keep the U.S. community informed of any changes in the overall security situation. Notices concerning security matters will also be broadcast on AFNK television and radio. The Embassy encourages all U.S. citizens to register their presence in Korea with the American Citizens Services office at the U.S. Embassy or via the Internet at http://travel.state.gov/travel/abroad_registration.html or http://www.asktheconsul.org/ .

Hygiene

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 3:30 am on Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I was just downloading some old pictures from my spare camera, when I stumbled across this photo that I had completely forgotten about.

This was some sort of obscure hygiene product that was available in my hotel room in Shanghai. It was US$ 1 for each one, so I decided not to use it. Don’t worry ladies there was one for you too.

Massaging around the genitals for 2-3 minutes? It can get a better effect to be used in bath? On second thought, maybe it would have been worth a dollar…

Anniversary and Other Things

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 12:25 pm on Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Anniversary

Today is an anniversary of sorts.

On September 21, 1988, I first set foot on Korean soil. 16 years. It’s been a long, strange trip from bewildered and befuddled 19 year-old doofus to 35 year-old world-renowned, international legal powerhouse. Considering the few years that I spent at college and law school in the states, I figure I have spent 11.5 of the last 16 years actually in Korea, and the rest of the time thinking about it.

There have been incredible changes in that period of time. The country has gone from a military dictatorship to a fledgling democracy. The economy has thrived, suffered, and thrived again. For better or worse, cities have expanded and grown at a phenomenal rate.

Yet, in many respects, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Other Things

While getting my personal mug from the employee cup rack, I noticed a new cup. I don’t know who it belongs to, but I thought it was an odd sort of cup/advertisement to keep on one’s desk.

COMMENTS:

Name: Never HeardofYa
E-mail: nomail@no.com
City: Chicago
Country: USA
Homepage:
Date: 21-Sep-2004 00:39:06
Message:

“On September 21, 1988, I first set foot on
Korean soil. 16 years. It’s been a long,
strange trip from bewildered and befuddled 19
year-old doofus to 35 year-old world-renowned,
international legal powerhouse.”

Regarding your comments on your extended stay
in Korea band your transformation from
a “befuddled doofus” to a “world-renowned
international…powerhouse”, isn’t it
interesting that the more things change, the
more they stay the same?

Also, if you’re so “world-renowned”, how come
I’ve never heard of you before in either the
U.S. or in Korea? (I’ve also asked a few Seoul-
and Taegu-based Korean prosecutors & private-
practice lawyers if they’ve ever heard of you,
and guess what? They haven’t.)

Suggestion: Instead of being a pompous buffoon,
win us over with modesty, intelligence and
maturity.

Response:

Ha. Beautiful comment.

I’m sorry. I was not aware that in order to be known throughout the world and bask in the fame and glory of enormous respect and admiration of prominent corporate, legal, and government leaders, I had to register myself with your personal database of known people. Having realized my mistake, I tried to contact you to make myself known to you, but I was unable to do so because you are posting anonymously without a valid email. It really is quite a shame. Had you had the courage and courtesy to identify yourself, you could have had the pleasure of claiming acquaintance with greatness incarnate.

Although I must deduct many points for your anonymous skulking and heel-nipping, you earned back a few points for allegedly contacting numerous prosecutors and private practice lawyers in Seoul and Taegu in the very few minutes that transpired between the time I posted my remarks and the time you posted your response. That showed fortitude, dedication and motivation. With an attitude like that, you can aspire to greatness and perhaps, if you are as fortunate as I am, you may obtain that greatness…that is if you redirect your enegeries to something a little more productive than talking to a few insignificant and inconsequential folks.

Well, as we don’t have the honor of knowing anything about you or how to contact your anonymous self, then perhaps you would care to list the names of those prosecutors and lawyers you contacted. I could then call them and find out more about you from them, because you are apparently so famous and renowned that they know you. That is quite an honor, especially when you consider that if you ask your prosecutor and lawyer contacts in Seoul and Taegu, the will most likely not have heard of other people such as Thurgood Marshall, Gerry Spence, Alan Dershowitz, Vincent Bugliosi, and Clarence Darrow who must not be famous or distinguished enough to be known to the prosecutors and lawyers in Seoul and Taegu.

When weighing my importance and influence in both world-wide legal and political spheres, I suggest you ask yourself and the lawyers and prosecutors in Seoul and Taegu, how many times have you or they been called by ambassadors and state department officials for advice and comment on issues. How many times have you or they been invited to sit at the dinner table of world economic leaders to discuss the future economic development of entire countries. How many times have you or they been been personally threatened by the governor of an entire Russian political region. How many times have you or they had to listen to some of the worlds largest corporations beg your firm to take them on as a client? How many of them are listed in the Asian Legal 500? We will then compare notes.

Sadly, it seems that your own ignorance and that of your prosecutors and lawyers in Seoul and Taegu about me and who I am speaks much more negatively about the unfortunate state of your education and knowledge of world affairs than it does about my lack of renown amongst the lower levels of society.

Better luck to you in the future my good man/woman.

Stormy Korea

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 1:32 am on Tuesday, September 21, 2004

As the wind whips off the ocean, the foamy white caps of the angry seas are visible from my apartment window even at this late hour. The sounds of rolling thunder and the crisp blue flashes of electricity march relentlessly closer. The rain pounds furiously against my 10th story windows. I sit at my desk reading the online news.

FLASH! BAM!

Everything I see is drowned out by blinding explosion of white-blue lightning and then, milliseconds later, everything is swallowed in the jet blackness of a world without power. An eerie silence settles over the landscape as the thunder roars its way into the distance. As if angered by the interruption, the rain intensifies its beating on my windows.

I stand and begin shuffling my way to the battery-powered storm lamp. The instant my hand touches the lamp, the clicks, whirs, beeps and pings of reviving technology fill my house. After a few minutes I resume my online reading.

FLASH! BAM!

The world is plunged into darkness again. This time the lightning and thunder are so close that there was more concussion than noise from the thunder as at seemed to radiate outward from my home.

As I walk back toward the storm lamp I have a very funny feeling come over me. I stop. I feel all the hair on my arms and back of my neck rise. For some reason I am compelled to look out the window directly in front of me.

FLASH!

My eyes are seared by the intense brightness of a massive electric arc discharging it’s fury mere feet away from me. I turn my head away from the flash and see a battery-powered blue light bulb glowing brightly. I stare at it for a few seconds and watch the blue glow slowly fade from the bulb.

Then, I realize that hanging across the street directly at eye level with my kitchen window and not 20 meters away is this (part of the window frame is included to give some perspective of how close the crane is to my window):

Giant steel construction cranes make a helluva good lightning rod.

Bad Week for Child Stars

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 2:30 am on Sunday, September 19, 2004

The past week has been pretty rough on kids who were has-beens before they finished going through puberty. Sucks to know that it’s all down hill after your 13th birthday. This week brought us the following:

First, we have Ed “Terminator 2″ Furlong getting popped for drunken acts involving a lobster.

Next, we have Tracy “Growing Pains” Gold. The former anorexic turned drinker, got behind the wheel while drunk and flipped her vehicle over with her husband in the front seat and her kids in the back. Felony DUI. Great mom.

Finally, my personal favorite. What’s NOT funny about Macaulay “Home Alone” Culkin, former child star and obsession of Michael Jackson being busted for pot and pills.

Read more online at the Smoking Gun.

Musical Conversations

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 4:45 am on Saturday, September 18, 2004

One thing that I have long lamented is the state of music in Korea.

I quite enjoy Korean traditional music. There is something about Korean drumming that speaks to the primal beast within me. I could sit and listen for hours to people like these drummers at the park near my office. However, when Korean music wanders too far from the traditional music, it generally begins to suck. The awful sampled, cookie-cutter, prepubescent, homoerotic boy band tripe that is pumped out into Korean society is utterly horrible. the Korean “gansta” rap is actually fun to watch…in an obscenely comic way. There are very few singers worth listening to here.

Because of this, the following converstion I had with a 23 year-old, straight, male, Korean waiter/floorsweep named “Nick” really came as no surprise.

Nick: What kind of music do you like?

Me: Any kind.

Nick (walking to the restaurant’s CD player): How is ABBA?

Me: Eh… it’s ok.

Nick: Ah Ha! I know….

(Ricky Martin’s La Vida Loca comes up on the stereo)

Me: Umm… This isn’t ABBA!

Nick: Yeah. I love Ricky Martin

Me:

Nick (wearing an express that hints at a sign for some sort of approval):

Me: I hate Ricky Martin

Nick: All Korean girls love Ricky Martin.

Me: I’m not a Korean girl.

Nick: EVERYONE loves Ricky.

Me: Uh…… No. No they don’t. Most people do not like Ricky Martin.

Nick: What do you want to listen to.

Me (sorting through CDs): Here. Put in this B.B. King and Eric Cplaton CD.

Nick: Ok

(Clapton and King begin playing)

Me: See. Isn’t that better than Ricky Martin?

Nick: Well…I like hip hop and gansta rap. Music you can dance to.

Me: Did you know that without blues there would be NO hip hop or gangsta rap?

NIck: This music makes me sleepy. I don’t like it.

Me: Ugh…….

COMMENTS:

Name: angus E-mail: amactavish@hotmail.com
Date: 17-Sep-2004 19:43:30

agreed. it strikes me as strange that an
insular nation that generally loaths a) black
americans b) gays, would interpret black
american music in such an obviously flaming
queer package. makes me wonder about male
dominated cultures who leave child rearing
totally to the women.

Comments

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 11:52 pm on Thursday, September 16, 2004

As most of you have noticed, I have discontinued the comments section of my blog. Enough people have asked why that I feel it necessary to explain and to explain My new comment and email policy.

I write this blog primarily for myself. My blog is not comment driven. Unlike many bloggers, I don’t post things just so I can see what people think of my writing and what they have to say to me. Quite frankly, I don’t really care if anyone comments or not. I write mostly for myself. I write about the things I am interested in and that I want to remember. Writing my blog is cathartic and very therapeutic for me personally.

If no one ever read my blog, I wouldn’t care. In fact, as I have said in numerous places, I originally anticipated that no one except for my brother, mother, and maybe a few friends would drop by occasionally to see what was going through my head. I actually estimated that I would get about 13 visits per month.

Now, I am getting a modest 200 - 300 hits per day. Of course, many are from people who are undoubtedly disappointed in their search for BoA, Lee Hyori, Lee Sabi, Lee Seung Yeon, Akira Fubuki, Sally Yoshino, and various other naked Korean and naked Japanese women. There are also some from the Ogrish-hunting crowd searing for Italian, American, and Korean beheadings. However, a large portion of the hits are from people stopping by to read what I have written.

When I first started this blog, I decided to open the comments section to the readers as a place for them to leave their thoughts and comments not only for me to read, but also for readers to debate issues amongst themselves. Although I am not dependent upon others’ comments, I do enjoy reading most of them and responding to some of them.

However, a few immature jackasses with too much time on their hands decided that they would make my blog their little playground. They decided that it would be fun if they posted useless, juvenile, insulting, and annoying comments to every post. They decided to insult me, my family, and other things personal to me. I would delete the completely useless and most offensive comments in order to maintain at least a modicum of civilized behavior on my blog.

I’m all for dissent, I am all for playing devil’s advocate, and I am all for wit and humor. But I would hope that it would be done in an mature manner. Simply making asinine comments trolling for some sort of response is not worth my time. I don’t want in on my blog. I refuse to clutter up my blog with the juvenile scratchings of social misfits.

I refuse to play the sorts of games that those few commentors were engaging in. As their comments were wasting my time, and as I was no longer interested in reading their immature comments, I took the step of removing the comment option from my main blog.

While I am not entirely happy about doing so, I just had no desire to read the many comments posted by those certain few.

For the time being, I have decided to do two things. One is to take the comments off-site. In the left-hand column, you will notice a comments section where anyone who wants to can leave comments in a guest-book style arrangement. I will give everyone the chance to act like a mature adult and check themselves in their comments. However, if the off-site comment book becomes cluttered with the same useless trash that was infecting my blog comments, then I will pull the plug on the comments book without a second thought. So, in short, police yourselves.

The other thing I have decided to do is to alter my email policy.

From now on, I will consider any and all email sent to ruminationsinkorea@yahoo.com to be open and not private. Thus, any email that I receive will be subject to posting at my discretion without any notice to the author. If you don’t want something posted on my site, don’t email it to me.

I will not post everything that is emailed to me. But in certain cases I may choose to post an email for whatever reason. Again, it is entirely my decision what emails will or will not be posted.

Thanks for visiting and keep coming back.

EXPLOSION IN NORTH KOREA

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 12:08 am on Monday, September 13, 2004

There was a MASSIVE explosion in North Korea a short while ago. The “mushroom-shaped” smoke cloud was estimated at between 2 and 2 1/2 miles wide (3.5 to 4 km). There are no indications that it was a nuclear test.

It is suspected that it was an oil tanker train hitting power lines that triggered it. That doesn’t really make sense unless something extra-ordinary occurred such as a derailed train or a downed power line. The fact that the explosion occurred on September 9, the Anniversary of North Korea’s founding is causing some concern as North Koreans are know to make tests, demonstrations, and unveilings of new weapons and other progress indicators on important anniversaries. Whatever this is, it is certainly not good.

1st UPDATE: It appears that Chinese and South Korean authorities are searching for witnesses to the explosion. With a smoke cloud more than 2 miles across, I would suspect that maybe one or two people saw something unusual. This happened days ago. I have an incredibly hard time believing that we (the US) have not scoured every inch of the blast site with satellites and already know what happened. Apparently, the Chinese know something too, but are not saying anything yet.

2nd UPDATE: South Korean government implies that the US is witholding information:

The United States provided no information to South Korea on the blasts in Kimhyeongjik county, Yanggang province, [government officials] said. Intelligence aides said that U.S. data ??which would be critical to decipher what happened on Wednesday and Thursday ??were not handed over to the U.S.-South Korea Combined Forces Command. Several South Korean intelligence officials said that normally the United States would have delivered time-sequenced analyses of the explosion North Korea, but that such information was not made available.

Yet, in the same article, goverment officials indicate that US is in deed cooperating:

The official said that the South Korea government has officially requested cooperation from the United States, although it remains unclear when the request was made. The official also said that the United States is cooperating, but no one would say definitively as to what extent the United States and South Korea were sharing information.

There seems to be confusion even surrounding whether or not governments are cooperating with each other. On a side note, it is interesting from a slanted journalism point of view that the US is singled out for non-cooperation, yet there is no information in the story about the extent of Chinese cooperation or non-cooperation.

(Thanks to the Kimchi GI for the tip on this update)

3rd UPDATE: Marmot links to a BBC article reporting that the North Korean government explained the explosion as the “deliberate demolition of a mountain as part of a hydro-electric project.”

4th UPDATE: It seems that no one is seriously buying the story of blowing up a mountain for a hydro-electric plant. Some of the reasons people are skeptical is that there does not appear to be any rivers in the area, no place suitable for a dam, and such clouds are not indicative of large-scale rock blasting. As part of its bizarre explanations of the blast, North Korean official said that they did not tell anyone sooner because “All foreign journalists are liars.”

Developing…

Ah! Mr. Butler, We Have Your Reservation. Welcome to Hell!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 8:44 am on Thursday, September 9, 2004

As Bette Davis once said about Joan Crawford, “She’s gone for good. She’s gone. Good!”

Richard Butler. Dead. Finally.

Koreans, Bow Down To Your Masters!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 1:37 am on Wednesday, September 8, 2004

How long will Korea remain China’s bitch?

I have to keep asking myself over and over again, “Is Korea really a sovereign country?” At times, it is hard to remember that Korea is not part of China.

I was here in 1992 when Korea gave Taiwan a social smack in the mouth by ending diplomatic relations and turning the Taiwanese Embassy over to China for official recognition. I was living three feet down the hall from two Taiwanese girls at Pusan National University. They were quite upset and concerned. Korean citizens, by and large, didn’t really notice or care. Perhaps they should have taken notice and marked that day on their calendar to remember the day the Korea sold it’s soul to China.

From that day forward Korea seems to have taken its Asian policy marching orders from Beijing. China has been jerking the strings of the Korean foreign policy puppet for 12 years now. If Korean does something internationally that China disagrees with, the Korean government prostrates itself at the feet of the Chinese government and Kowtows to Beijing. However, Korea had good practice licking the boots of China prior to the establishment of diplomatic relations on August 24, 1992, as evidenced by Korea’s refusal to condemn the Tiananmen Square massacre in the late 1980’s. By failing to stand up for democracy and human rights and placing economic considerations above moral, ethical, and humanitarian principles, Korea had already demonstrated to China that Korea would be more than happy to be bent over a barrel for China’s pleasure.

The kowtowing was never more evident than it was in 2000. Kim Dae Jung, who had fought for years for Korean democracy and independence, had just been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in peace and human rights. However, President Kim refused to allow the Dalai Lama, a fellow Nobel Peace Prize winner, to enter Korea. How could something that ridiculous happen? In September 2000, the Chinese Embassy in Seoul wrote to Korean officials and expressed Beijing’s “strong displeasure” over the visit and said it should be postponed. Ta da!!!! Dalai Lama barred from Korea.

Then, in 2002, His Holiness the Dalai Lama planned to travel from New Delhi to Mongolia via Seoul on Asiana Airlines. However, in August of that year, Asiana Airlines refused to sell him a ticket. Asiana said it said it did so for security reasons. “We had respectfully asked the Dalai Lama to take a route that doesn’t stop in Seoul for his and other passengers’ safety,” said Kim Haeng-seok, an Asiana spokesman. Asked to elaborate on the security concerns, Kim made this incredibly lame excuse, “Some people like the Dalai Lama. Some people don’t.”

A Korean Buddhist group said, “We cannot understand the airline’s refusal to allow an internationally recognized religious leader to make a transit flight. We are curious how much pressure there was from China.” uhh…gee…probably not much. It only took a letter the previous time.

Korea will stand up on its hind legs, puff up its chest, ruffle its feathers, makes hissing noises, and performs other harmless public displays of strength and makes attempts to rebel against and dominate the Chinese in areas that have no real significance such as importing garlic . Also Korea will pound their shoes on their desks and threaten to bury China under a cyber avalanche for screwing with interpretations of history.

However, when it comes time to take a real stand on issues that express or demonstrate a direct opposition to Beijing’s policies and positions, Korea tucks its tail between its legs and cowers behind the diplomatic refrigerator. If the Korean government had any balls at all, China would have a very firm grasp on them.

Are things changing? I wouldn’t hold my breath, despite hints of testicular fortitude in the political wind. According to a Korea Times article, the Korean Government may allow visit by Dalai Lama

According to the Times, Foreign Affairs and Trade Minister Ban Ki-moon, made this milquetoast comment in an interview with OhMyNews, “We have to address the problem taking into account the ardent wishes of Buddhist and cultural circles and on the basis of the principle that Seoul-Beijing relations should develop further.” Interpretation: We are frighted of China, and even though they just tried to strip us of 5,000 years of history, the Dalai Lama ain’t coming anywhere near Korea because our Chinese masters will whack us on the nose with a newspaper if we do.

Ban continues with the little bit of blame-shifting logical gymnastics, “Our government has called on China on many occasions to let the Tibetan leader visit our nation given the religious freedoms permitted here and the ardent wishes of Buddhists.” Hey, Ban, I’m no Foreign Affairs and Trade Minister or anything, but let me clue you in on something. China cannot “let” him come to Korea. China cannot stop him from coming to Korea either. China has absolutely no control over the Dalai Lama, because the Dalai Lama doesn’t live in China. The only people stopping His Holiness from entering Korea is the weak-kneed, lilly-livered Korean government officials that are too cowardly to stand up to China and say that Korea is a sovereign national and will damned well decide for itself who will and will not visit Korea.

All of this chest pounding, Korea cheerleading, macho bullcrap about Korea being a strong, proud nation of homogeneous glory, and all of this pissing about great, powerful, glorious, and honorable Korea is because of Kimchi, Taekwondo, the 2002 World Cup, archery, ping pong, etc. etc. etc. is nothing but impotent, self-gratifying, mental masturbation for the sole purpose of convincing themselves that they really are all of those things and pretending that the rest of the world believes it too. It is WAY past time for Korea to assert itself in some meaningful fashion and demonstrate that it is truly a sovereign country that can think and act for itself. It is time for Pinocchio to become a real boy and cut the puppetmaster’s strings.

Typhoon Songda

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 4:47 pm on Monday, September 6, 2004

Here is a pretty little picture of Typhoon Songda from the Joint Typhoon Warning Center. Typhoon Songda is due to be here in Korea within the next day or two, but her effects are already being felt. She is responsble for thwarting my younger brother’s attempts to flee Korea now that his contract has ended. Flights into and out of Japan have already been cancelled. Batten down the hatches. Here she comes.

Ruminations on Family

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeff in Korea at 12:07 am on Monday, September 6, 2004

If he were alive, my brother would have turned 40 years old today.

My brother is dead. It has been slightly more than 8 1/2 years since his life ended in a car accident on December 30, 1995. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I reached the same age that he was when he died, 31 years old, that I began to understand how young he was when he died.

I didn’t cry at the funeral. My brother and I had not been very close since we were kids. There was almost 5 years between us, plus he chose a life of drug and alcohol abuse.

However, we saw each other a few times a year toward the end of his life. On those occasions, we talked a bit about things. Small talk mostly. In retrospect, I see that he tried to show a lot of interest in me and what I was doing in law school.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I appreciated it. I regret very deeply that I did not open up to him and accept him. I think the pride that built up in me as a protection from his earlier teasings, tauntings, and betrayals blinded me to his attempts to make things right. I should have let him into my life. I am sorry for that.

It’s strange that I didn’t see it then, but I see now that he was proud of me. That is the one thing that I always wanted from my brother was for him to be proud of me.

He was slowly making life changes that were for the better. He quit drugs, quit smoking, started taking more interest in his family, and being more friendly. Then, a simple, stupid, bad decision about drinking and riding with a drunk driver ended his life.

On that day, I did not appreciate the fact that I lost the person that taught me to ride a bike, the person who taught me to play soccer and to wrestle, the person who taught me to use my head, the person who taught me to play chess and to catch snakes, the person who took me fishing and hiking, the person who gave me my deep love of reading, the person who introduced me to Narnia, Middle Earth, Pern, Xanth, Dune, and the other realms of fantasy tucked between the pages of the best books, the person that I looked up to as the best sportsman, my brother.

Although I was 26 years old when he passed away, I still thought of him as a much older person.

He was young. Too young. He had such much more time to live. We could have done so many things together. We could have talked. We could have shared. But, at such a young age, younger than I am now, he died. I regret many lost opportunities.

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